My 9th anniversary
My memory is blurry, but I think this month marks the 9th anniversary of my first TSW/Protopic withdrawal(PW). I've been off Protopic since 2008, and TS since 2011.
Do I now have a flare-free healthy skin all year around? Unfortunately, no. For example today, I'm basically a red panda. Only during winters, I spend months with the troubles such as eczema, conjunctivitis and eczema herpeticum, though it's nowhere near as bad as the peak of the withdrawal.
I consider myself a survivor of PW rather than TSW. I used TS for 6 months and Protopic for 2 years. And, as far as I understand, what I'm still struggling against is the condition caused by Protopic. My lowered immune system, triggering months-long skin malfunctions, has been the problem I get every winter.
I try to sum up my experiences of the last 9 years, but it doesn't feel right to do it at the moment, because I'm still in the middle of the process, the experiments, the attempts to figure out the best balance between my life and skin. My current projects include taking vitamin D and seeing a psychotherapist, the latter I should've done 9 years ago.
I don't regret the decision that I started, and continue, the withdrawal. No matter what my skin condition is today, I now understand why it is the way it is. It makes sense to me. I still sometimes feel defeated and hopeless, but I know one thing for sure: it will clear up.